Before I Say Good-Bye
By Mary Higgins Clark
Chapter Nine
Fifty-two-year-old Winifred
Johnson never entered the lobby of her employer's apartment building
on Park Avenue without feeling intimidated. She had worked with Adam
Cauliff for three years, first at Walters and Arsdale, and then she
had left with him last fall, when he started his own company. He
relied on her from the beginning.
Even so, whenever she stopped by
his apartment, she couldn't help feeling that one day the doorman
would instruct her to use the delivery entrance around the corner.
She knew that her attitude was
the result of her parents' lifelong resentment over imagined slights.
Ever since she could remember, Winifred's ears had been filled with
their plaintive tales of people who had been rude to them: They use
their little bit of authority on people like us who can't fight back.
Expect it, Winifred. That's the kind of world it is. Her father had
gone to his grave railing against all the indignities he had suffered
at the hands of his employer of forty years, and her mother was now in
a nursing home, where complaints of supposed slights and deliberate
neglect continued unabated.
Winifred thought about her
mother as the doorman smilingly opened the door for her. A few years
ago it had been possible for her to move her mother to a fancy, new
nursing facility, but even that hadn't stopped the endless flow of
complaints. Happiness -- even satisfaction -- did not seem to be
possible for her. Winifred had recognized this same trait in herself
and felt helpless. Until I smartened up, she told herself with a
secret smile.
A thin woman, almost frail in
appearance, Winifred typically dressed in conservative business suits
and limited her jewelry to button earrings and a strand of pearls.
Quiet to the point that people often forgot she was even around, she
absorbed everything, noticed everything and remembered everything. She
had worked for Robert Walters and Len Arsdale from the time she
graduated from secretarial school, but in all those years neither man
had ever appreciated or even seemed to notice the fact that she had
come to know everything there was to know about the construction
business. Adam Cauliff, however, had picked up on it immediately. He
appreciated her; he understood her true worth. He used to joke with
her, saying, "Winifred, a lot of people had better hope you never
write your autobiography."
Robert Walters overheard him and
became both upset and unpleasant. But then Walters had always bullied
her unmercifully; he never had been nice to her. Let him pay for that,
Winifred thought. And he will.
Nell never appreciated him. Adam
didn't need a wife with a career of her own and a famous grandfather
who made so many demands on her that she didn't have enough time for
her husband. Sometimes Adam would say, "Winifred, Nell's busy
with the old man again. I don't want to eat alone. Let's grab a
bite."
He deserved better. Sometimes
Adam would tell her about being a kid on a North Dakota farm and going
to the library to get books with pictures of beautiful buildings.
"The taller the better, Winifred," he'd joke. "When
someone built a three-story house in our town, folks drove twenty
miles just to get a look at it."
Other times he would encourage
her to talk, and she found herself gossiping with him about people in
the construction industry. Then the next morning she would wonder if
perhaps she had said too much, her loquaciousness enhanced by the wine
Adam kept pouring. But she never really worried; she trusted Adam --
they trusted each other -- and Adam enjoyed her "insider"
stories about the building world, tales from her earlier days with
Walters and Arsdale.
"You mean that
sanctimonious old bird was on the take when those bids went out?"
he'd exclaim, then reassure her when she became flustered about
talking so much. And then he'd promise never, ever to say a word to
anyone about what she had told him. She also remembered the night he
had said accusingly, "Winifred, you can't fool me. There's
someone in your life." And she had told him, yes, even giving the
name. And that was when she really began to trust him. She confided
that she was taking care of herself.
The uniformed clerk at the lobby
desk put down the intercom telephone. "You can go right up, Ms.
Johnson. Mrs. Cauliff is expecting you."
Adam had asked her to pick up
his briefcase and his navy jacket on the way to the meeting today.
Being Adam, he had been apologetic about the request. "I left in
a hell of a rush this morning and forgot them," he explained.
"I left them on the bed in the guest room. The notes for the
meeting are in my briefcase, and I'll need the jacket if I change my
mind and decide to meet Nell at the Four Seasons." Winifred could
sense from his tone that he and Nell must have had a serious
misunderstanding, and hearing it only bolstered her certainty that
their marriage was heading for the rocks.
As she rode up in the elevator,
she thought about the meeting scheduled for later in the day. She was
happy that the location for the meeting had been moved to the boat.
She loved going out on the water. It seemed romantic, even when the
purpose was strictly business.
There would be just five of
them. In addition to herself, the three associates in the Vandermeer
Tower venture -- Adam, Sam Krause and Peter Lang -- would be
attending. The fifth was Jimmy Ryan, one of Sam's site foremen.
Winifred wasn't sure why he'd been invited except that Jimmy had been
pretty moody lately. Maybe they wanted to get to the heart of the
problem and sort it out.
She knew they all would be
concerned about the story that broke in today's newspapers, although
she didn't feel any concern herself. In fact, she was rather impatient
about the whole thing. The worst thing that ever happens in these
situations, even if they get the goods on you, is you pay a fine, she
told herself. You reach into your back pocket, and the problem goes
away.
The elevator opened right onto
the apartment foyer, where Nell was waiting for her.
Winifred saw the cordial smile
of welcome on Nell's face fade as soon as she stepped forward.
"Is something wrong?" she asked anxiously.
Dear God, Nell thought with
sudden alarm, why is this happening? But as she looked at Winifred,
she could almost hear the knowledge filtering through her being:
Winifred's journey on this plane is completed.
Copyright © 2000 by Mary
Higgins Clark